Choosing Nonchalance

by Meredith Murphy

I’ve decided there are some things in life I wish to view very lightly– Surprising behavior from people I know; definitely the news and many world events… And so, in this aspiration to be more easy with life, I have been exploring my experiences and realizing: nonchalance requires trust.

To be nonchalant means having an air of ease toward all of life. It’s a wonderful quality and I love even that the definition uses the word “air.” Who doesn’t enjoy the experience of taking something challenging or difficult lightly? Its such a relief! The flip side of this is taking something tremendous and awesome lightly as well.

Oh–you weren’t counting on that? 🙂

The Buddha is quick to remind us of not attaching to anything–good or bad. Or whatever–I know we’re moving beyond labels, the point is, that over-identifying or holeding onto anything isn’t really helpful in cultivating ease.

There is a fine line between raising our eyebrows and seeing, making adjustments to create future experience and moving on and vehemently pushing something away–thus amplifying it and engaging with it even more.

There is also a fine line between savoring and clinging. It all has to do with being in the flow in the moment. For example the other day my cat, Astra, came up and I was petting her–which she was loving and I was loving–and then she walked away and I was watching her walk and I was lingering in this moment of communion we had just shared and watching her, I was surprised when she leapt to the window having seen a bird. And I realized: that’s it! She’s already moved on, and even if its only for a little bit, I’m still there–back in the past in my emotions with the experience.

I realize whenever I don’t respond to life this way–with nonchalance–that it all comes down to some un-free behavior or habit, some limiting idea, some viewpoint out of sync with the source flowing within me, ultimately, with a lack of trust on my part. Like maybe I won’t get another moment like this. Or somehow not thinking every moment can be one I can entirely enjoy.

This makes me think about washing the dishes or chopping wood–you know, all those Buddhist ideas that remind us that we can enjoy anything if we bring our full presence to it. It’s true you know.

So I see how nonchalance requires me to consider what exactly DO I believe about life? Do I see all moments as equal? Do I expect each moment to be as capable of profound joy as any other? Is the incredible expansion of channeling a message–is that experience more ripe for happiness then making coffee? If I am an eternal divine being capable of limitless bliss, am I actually approaching life from a place trusting this to come forth and tuning into it?

Do I truly trust in my own divinity? In the divine timing, the divine orchestration of life? Not just as an idea, but am I living-breathing-being with this as my reality?

Furthermore, do I truly embrace my capacity to create my experience, feeling ultimately so powerful that whatever shows up that I inadvertently created not to my liking can simply be smiled at as a reflection of my own carelessness of focus and re-shaped to my own liking?

This is the subtle meanderings of our newness flowing forth. We realize that we are indeed capable of anything and although I choose wonder, awe, bliss, inspiration, amazement, love, abundance, clarity, focus, playfulness and many other experiences, I also too choose to have my energy in life flow through choice rather then being triggered by the reflections that catch me off guard and are not really in the vibe I want to experience.

Like Astra who knowingly plays with her reflection in the closet mirrored door, I want to play with the reflections of my state of being–noticing and when I feel inclined, adjusting.

Choosing nonchalance toward life means not being casual but being filled with faith. It is an essential ingredient to a peaceful heart. Only by relating to life with a trusting cooperative approach am I able to experience the diversity of aliveness and my own countless creations with the perpetual eye of a powerful creator and enjoy it all.

Playfulness is a wonderful and essential part of life, a luxury that all of us have access to. Choosing nonchalance and empowerment for me brings forth a playfulness to life that I find helps me have fun, relax and in this state of relaxation ideas, connections, energy and clarity flow forth in abundance. I am also learning that I can trust in this–by continually choosing my state of being I remain in a perpetually creative vibration that yields moment after moment of joy. Wow.

The value of self-trust is obvious. Experiencing it deeply is another thing. I am learnign it may be cultivated–by keeping my word and commitments to myself, which first of all means making commitments with care–considering if I am truly want to make this choice and live it. The more I keep my word to myself, and live my life making my own happiness and joy the first priority, the greater self-trust I experience.

How are you at trusting yourself, the Universe, life in general? And what helps you to feel this feeling, deepen it, identify with it, and literally become it? If that interests you. It certainly interests me, and I’d love to hear from you on what your experience is.

Nonchalance for all! Yes indeed. Well for anyone that’s interested anyway–that’s my intention today. In my world ease is definitely IN.

© 2009-2011, Meredith Murphy, Expect Wonderful | Modern Paradise Publications http://www.expectwonderful.com/ – You are free to share, copy, distribute and display the work under the following conditions: You must give author credit, you may not use this for commercial purposes, and you may not alter, transform or build upon this work. For any reuse or distribution, you must make clear to others the license terms of this work. Any of these conditions can be waived if you get the permission of the copyright holder. Any other purpose of use must be granted permission by the author.